Daisy is:

A little less Humbug.

Exciting news, hey?

Daisy is feeling:

"Bah, humbug"

I know I have high expectations, probably too high but i just can't help needing and wanting to be cared for. For the people in my life to be there for me in the moments I need them to be without me having to ask for it. When you have to remind or even ask for someone to care it takes away the action.

Today is the one year anniversary of my step-dad's death and only one person acknowledged it(at 7pm on Facebook, which again kind of takes it away when you live 5 minutes away and you do own a telephone)My husband didn't even try to remember. It was a day about him (again) and he actually gave me shit for something I had done with our daughter yesterday (homework stuff).It wasn't until I lost my patience and screamed at him did he remember.

I know I'm a grown woman but I still have that little girl who needs to be taken care every once in awhile. Since I lost my mom and Pete, there is just no one who thinks of me before they think of themselves. My life has become the typical cliche of me taking care of everyone else and no one even thinking that I'm not always strong. That maybe I need to be the weak one. That maybe for one day I deserve it to be about me and that I need to be taken care of.

But then again, maybe that's just me and my high expecations.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!

I'm sad.

Really sad.

Maybe sad in a very unhealthy way.

I'm sad today because i have nowhere to go for turkey dinner (most canadians have their turkey on Sun). We were at my in-laws last night for turkey but it's just not the same.

Not having anywhere to go tonight and being the lazy ass I am (I should have cooked a turkey tonight for us) just makes me lonely. Everyone else having dinner somewhere as I sit here debating giving my kids Mickey D's or *Quiznos (told you I was lazy...I didn't cook anything)

I just miss the days when my mom cooked dinner and I went to where I knew I belonged.

they say "Home is where your heart is"

I think I may have misplaced mine somewhere.

Happy almost Canadian Thanksgiving to everyone ( the whole two of you who still read *grin)

Your Score: 8 - the Asserter

Thanks for taking the test !

you chose AY - your Enneagram type is EIGHT (aka "The Challenger").

"I must be strong"

Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me

• Stand up for yourself... and me.
  
• Be confident, strong, and direct.
  
• Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
  
• Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
  
• Give me space to be alone.
  
• Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
  
• I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
  
• When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

What I Like About Being a EIGHT

• being independent and self-reliant
  
• being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
  
• being courageous, straightforward, and honest
  
• getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
  
• supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
  
• upholding just causes

What's Hard About Being a EIGHT

• overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to
  
• being restless and impatient with others' incompetence
  
• sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
  
• never forgetting injuries or injustices
  
• putting too much pressure on myself
  
• getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right

EIGHTs as Children Often

• are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
  
• are sometimes loners
  
• seize control so they won't be controlled
  
• fugure out others' weaknesses
  
• attack verbally or physically when provoked
  
• take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

EIGHTs as Parents

• are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
  
• are sometimes overprotective
  
• can be demanding, controlling, and rigid

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
Harper SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

You liked the test?
so S P R E A D I T ! tell everyone!!! (use Quick-Paste below)

you wanna know MORE?
so check out, what Google found about your type...
or do you prefer to

---

You are not completely happy with the result?!
You chose AY

Would you rather have chosen:

BY (FOUR)

CY (SIX)

AX (SEVEN)

AZ (THREE)

Link: The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Today's the day that I will lock the door for the last time.

It kinda feels like I'm locking the door to my past.

The past when I felt the happiest.

It kinda sucks.

No, it does suck.

The 28th is the closing date on my folk's house. That will be the last day that I can ever walk in the front door and remember them sitting in their matching blue chairs, drinking wine with smiles on their faces because we just walked in the front door.

After I close that door for the last time I'm going to get:

Drunk as a dry hump*



* thanks Anne, love the saying.

On a dare from the hub....

I pierced my nose.

Bad ass...that's what I'm becoming :)

This is my tattoo (sorry it's sideways...I don't know how to fix it)

All the flowers represent birth months:

bottom: my dad

orange: Boo

purple: stepson

white/pink: Binks

*daisy & butterfly : my mom

It's on my right leg starting just below my knee

*after going through some of my mom's stuff I found that daisies are her favourite flower. they just always reminded me of her but now I know why and it means so much more.....

5 Years.
60 months.
1825 days.

5 years on Saturday passed since the last time I touched, kissed goodbye and was able to see my mom.

5 years.
60 months.
1825 days.

Not a single one of those I haven't thought of, loved and missed her more than I can describe.

I am alive!

I'm just still addicted to facebook...I know, I know.

but I do have news.

No, I'm not pregnant.

I got a tattoo.

woot, woot!

except that it f*ckin' hurts

and I haven't loaded the pic onto the computer yet.

I will try though.

Help!
I'm trying to add flickr but can't figure it out. If anyone knows can you help please??

I have a new addiction.....Facebook. Holy I love this site.
For those of you who know my real name just look me up and for those those who don't you can email me and I'll give you the info.

Ahhh, more time on the computer....

emotional girl and her guy's big adventure.....part one

on the way to the airport...yuck, it's only 8 o'clock in the morning









waiting excitedly,
not necessarily patiently at the airport















during the flight...aren't we cute?














mmmm, corona

I was playing *Scattergories Jr. with the chiclets last night and we had to find a word starting with the letter "R" for money.

Binks answer was :

"remember me"

How funny is that kid??

HOLA!
*edited since i don't know how to spell in Mexican

Just got back from sunny Me-hico. So much to tell...promise I will later after I catch up on everything here at home. I'm even going to try to get a flickr account for pics...wish me luck.

Adios, amigos.

yup, I'm changin' it up....maybe it'll motivate me to write more.

I haven't been posting much because all I seem to want to say is either negative or depressing. But today I'm doing it anyways.

There are just days or moments or times in my life when I could give it all up, move to a deserted island and just be by myself. Today is one of those. I'm sick of my marriage, sick of my job, pretty much sick of everything and everyone.
I tend to be very introspective when I'm like this and I start to doubt most things I've said or done. I know it's not healthy. That I'm being too hard on myself but I can't always shake the self-punishment.

It's the kind of feeling that maybe you've burned too many bridges. That being who you are (and most times liking yourself) isn't what you maybe need to be to get what you want from life.

This isn't about anything really in particular, just some things that happened earlier that I know rationally I am making bigger than need be. See I tend to that as well when I'm in this state of mind.

I hate being like this. I hate feeling the lack of hope and I especially hate feeling not good enough, that somehow I need to change who I really am just to get along.

It's a self-pity party that I don't even want to be invited to, let alone attend.

When you are sorrowful
look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Kahlil Gibran

This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us (girls) when we were little!

Once upon a time in a land far away,
A beautiful, independent, self-assured princess
Happened upon a frog as she sat
Contemplating ecological issues
On the shores of an unpolluted pond
In a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
And said: " Elegant Lady,I was once a handsome prince,
Until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however,
And I will turn back
Into the dapper, young prince that I am
And then, my sweet, we can marry
And set up housekeeping in your castle
With my mother,
Where you can prepare my meals,
Clean my clothes, bear my children,
And forever feel
Grateful and happy doing so.
That night,
As the princess dined sumptuously
On lightly sautéed frog legs
Seasoned in a white wine
And onion cream sauce,
She chuckled and thought to herself:
I don't fucking think so.

thanks, jules....

DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving ?"

too funny...thanks kel, I needed a good laugh!

Klutz!

Look up the word in the dictionary and somewhere beside it, you should see my name.

While having a great day/early night in Cowtown I slipped and dislocated my right thumb.

Ya, klutz would be the word.

And owwwww!!!

35 years ago today my mom delivered my baby brother.

35 years ago my brother came into to the world 3 months early.

My mom told me once of the story of my brother's birth. He was only 3 lbs and could fit in the palm of my dad's hand. Do you remember the "Beanie babies" from back then ( I had a yellow one) well, he was that size. His throat had not fully developed so they couldn't give him a soother as he could end up swallowing it whole.

For a month he was in an incubator where my parents couldn't hold him. They visited everyday, I think my mom may have stayed all day, everyday. I was 20 months old but I have a vague memory of seeing him in the incubator.

The night of his birth my mom's extremely insensitive doctor told her not to get her hopes up as he would probably not live through the night. Not once did my mom believe him. She adamantly knew he would survive and be healthy. Her belief never wavered, ever.

When they were finally able to bring him home I became the doting older sister and he can confirm that for most of his life that didn't change :o). Mom would say that I was very possessive of him...he was my baby and I wanted to do everything for him.

Dad says he was named for the constellation he saw the night he was born. He also jokes that he wanted his middle name to be water...after dad's favorite drink rye and water :o)

35 years later he is proof that the doctor was wrong and my mom was right.

35 years later he's still my baby brother and I don't know how I would've made through the past 4 years and especially the last 9 weeks without him.

Thanks for proving the doctors wrong, little bro...I love you

Happy Birthday!!

" I don't know how to exist in a world where my dad doesn't "

George O'Malley, Grey's Anatomy

One of many New Years Resolutions:

In the year 2007 I resolve to: Swallow more, spit less. Get your resolution here.

borrowed from sass

Every Christmas up until my mom passed away, she gave the kids and I a Christmas decoration. I made a new tradition the Christmas after....the kids got to pick their own decoration from grama. They love this and it makes them feel closer to her.

This year I asked for another tradition...that the hub would pick out a decoration and surprise me with what he picked.

Christmas morning I unwrapped a beautiful purple angel.

It wasn't for a week that he told me the reason why.

" I bought you an angel because it reminds me of you...the angel that saved me from my life of self-destruction"

reason #458 of why I love this man.