I haven't been posting much because all I seem to want to say is either negative or depressing. But today I'm doing it anyways.

There are just days or moments or times in my life when I could give it all up, move to a deserted island and just be by myself. Today is one of those. I'm sick of my marriage, sick of my job, pretty much sick of everything and everyone.
I tend to be very introspective when I'm like this and I start to doubt most things I've said or done. I know it's not healthy. That I'm being too hard on myself but I can't always shake the self-punishment.

It's the kind of feeling that maybe you've burned too many bridges. That being who you are (and most times liking yourself) isn't what you maybe need to be to get what you want from life.

This isn't about anything really in particular, just some things that happened earlier that I know rationally I am making bigger than need be. See I tend to that as well when I'm in this state of mind.

I hate being like this. I hate feeling the lack of hope and I especially hate feeling not good enough, that somehow I need to change who I really am just to get along.

It's a self-pity party that I don't even want to be invited to, let alone attend.