You gotta love your job when:

A 4 year old hugs you so hard that he "squeezes a burp right out of you"

Alright,I'm trying this again.
So what's new, you ask?

Lots and nothing.

Spring is finally here and once again I'm loving it and dreading how it can make me feel. Even 6 years later it feels the same...the beginning of the end of my before life. The life before the cancer. The life before when everything seemed so simple, too simple. The life before when I was still naive, more self-involved, less strong, less sure of who I am and who I want to be. Simple life.

Will my life ever feel simple again? Do I want it to be? What really is simple?

I know I strive to have a life that is not chaotic....I don't like or deal well with chaos. I like structure, routine but I don't want monotony or boredom. I feel that maybe it's become that way more than I would like. The problem is knowing how to change it when you all you feel like doing is the known.

This post is all over the place...sorry but lately I guess I'm all over the place as well.

So much for simple.

Daisy is:

A little less Humbug.

Exciting news, hey?

Daisy is feeling:

"Bah, humbug"

I know I have high expectations, probably too high but i just can't help needing and wanting to be cared for. For the people in my life to be there for me in the moments I need them to be without me having to ask for it. When you have to remind or even ask for someone to care it takes away the action.

Today is the one year anniversary of my step-dad's death and only one person acknowledged it(at 7pm on Facebook, which again kind of takes it away when you live 5 minutes away and you do own a telephone)My husband didn't even try to remember. It was a day about him (again) and he actually gave me shit for something I had done with our daughter yesterday (homework stuff).It wasn't until I lost my patience and screamed at him did he remember.

I know I'm a grown woman but I still have that little girl who needs to be taken care every once in awhile. Since I lost my mom and Pete, there is just no one who thinks of me before they think of themselves. My life has become the typical cliche of me taking care of everyone else and no one even thinking that I'm not always strong. That maybe I need to be the weak one. That maybe for one day I deserve it to be about me and that I need to be taken care of.

But then again, maybe that's just me and my high expecations.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!

I'm sad.

Really sad.

Maybe sad in a very unhealthy way.

I'm sad today because i have nowhere to go for turkey dinner (most canadians have their turkey on Sun). We were at my in-laws last night for turkey but it's just not the same.

Not having anywhere to go tonight and being the lazy ass I am (I should have cooked a turkey tonight for us) just makes me lonely. Everyone else having dinner somewhere as I sit here debating giving my kids Mickey D's or *Quiznos (told you I was lazy...I didn't cook anything)

I just miss the days when my mom cooked dinner and I went to where I knew I belonged.

they say "Home is where your heart is"

I think I may have misplaced mine somewhere.

Happy almost Canadian Thanksgiving to everyone ( the whole two of you who still read *grin)

Your Score: 8 - the Asserter

Thanks for taking the test !

you chose AY - your Enneagram type is EIGHT (aka "The Challenger").

"I must be strong"

Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me

• Stand up for yourself... and me.
  
• Be confident, strong, and direct.
  
• Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
  
• Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
  
• Give me space to be alone.
  
• Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
  
• I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
  
• When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

What I Like About Being a EIGHT

• being independent and self-reliant
  
• being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
  
• being courageous, straightforward, and honest
  
• getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
  
• supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
  
• upholding just causes

What's Hard About Being a EIGHT

• overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to
  
• being restless and impatient with others' incompetence
  
• sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
  
• never forgetting injuries or injustices
  
• putting too much pressure on myself
  
• getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right

EIGHTs as Children Often

• are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
  
• are sometimes loners
  
• seize control so they won't be controlled
  
• fugure out others' weaknesses
  
• attack verbally or physically when provoked
  
• take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

EIGHTs as Parents

• are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
  
• are sometimes overprotective
  
• can be demanding, controlling, and rigid

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
Harper SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

You liked the test?
so S P R E A D I T ! tell everyone!!! (use Quick-Paste below)

you wanna know MORE?
so check out, what Google found about your type...
or do you prefer to

---

You are not completely happy with the result?!
You chose AY

Would you rather have chosen:

BY (FOUR)

CY (SIX)

AX (SEVEN)

AZ (THREE)

Link: The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Today's the day that I will lock the door for the last time.

It kinda feels like I'm locking the door to my past.

The past when I felt the happiest.

It kinda sucks.

No, it does suck.

The 28th is the closing date on my folk's house. That will be the last day that I can ever walk in the front door and remember them sitting in their matching blue chairs, drinking wine with smiles on their faces because we just walked in the front door.

After I close that door for the last time I'm going to get:

Drunk as a dry hump*



* thanks Anne, love the saying.

On a dare from the hub....

I pierced my nose.

Bad ass...that's what I'm becoming :)

This is my tattoo (sorry it's sideways...I don't know how to fix it)

All the flowers represent birth months:

bottom: my dad

orange: Boo

purple: stepson

white/pink: Binks

*daisy & butterfly : my mom

It's on my right leg starting just below my knee

*after going through some of my mom's stuff I found that daisies are her favourite flower. they just always reminded me of her but now I know why and it means so much more.....

5 Years.
60 months.
1825 days.

5 years on Saturday passed since the last time I touched, kissed goodbye and was able to see my mom.

5 years.
60 months.
1825 days.

Not a single one of those I haven't thought of, loved and missed her more than I can describe.

I am alive!

I'm just still addicted to facebook...I know, I know.

but I do have news.

No, I'm not pregnant.

I got a tattoo.

woot, woot!

except that it f*ckin' hurts

and I haven't loaded the pic onto the computer yet.

I will try though.

Help!
I'm trying to add flickr but can't figure it out. If anyone knows can you help please??

I have a new addiction.....Facebook. Holy I love this site.
For those of you who know my real name just look me up and for those those who don't you can email me and I'll give you the info.

Ahhh, more time on the computer....

emotional girl and her guy's big adventure.....part one

on the way to the airport...yuck, it's only 8 o'clock in the morning









waiting excitedly,
not necessarily patiently at the airport















during the flight...aren't we cute?














mmmm, corona

I was playing *Scattergories Jr. with the chiclets last night and we had to find a word starting with the letter "R" for money.

Binks answer was :

"remember me"

How funny is that kid??

HOLA!
*edited since i don't know how to spell in Mexican

Just got back from sunny Me-hico. So much to tell...promise I will later after I catch up on everything here at home. I'm even going to try to get a flickr account for pics...wish me luck.

Adios, amigos.