5 Years.
60 months.
1825 days.

5 years on Saturday passed since the last time I touched, kissed goodbye and was able to see my mom.

5 years.
60 months.
1825 days.

Not a single one of those I haven't thought of, loved and missed her more than I can describe.

I am alive!

I'm just still addicted to facebook...I know, I know.

but I do have news.

No, I'm not pregnant.

I got a tattoo.

woot, woot!

except that it f*ckin' hurts

and I haven't loaded the pic onto the computer yet.

I will try though.

Help!
I'm trying to add flickr but can't figure it out. If anyone knows can you help please??

I have a new addiction.....Facebook. Holy I love this site.
For those of you who know my real name just look me up and for those those who don't you can email me and I'll give you the info.

Ahhh, more time on the computer....

emotional girl and her guy's big adventure.....part one

on the way to the airport...yuck, it's only 8 o'clock in the morning









waiting excitedly,
not necessarily patiently at the airport















during the flight...aren't we cute?














mmmm, corona

I was playing *Scattergories Jr. with the chiclets last night and we had to find a word starting with the letter "R" for money.

Binks answer was :

"remember me"

How funny is that kid??

HOLA!
*edited since i don't know how to spell in Mexican

Just got back from sunny Me-hico. So much to tell...promise I will later after I catch up on everything here at home. I'm even going to try to get a flickr account for pics...wish me luck.

Adios, amigos.

yup, I'm changin' it up....maybe it'll motivate me to write more.

I haven't been posting much because all I seem to want to say is either negative or depressing. But today I'm doing it anyways.

There are just days or moments or times in my life when I could give it all up, move to a deserted island and just be by myself. Today is one of those. I'm sick of my marriage, sick of my job, pretty much sick of everything and everyone.
I tend to be very introspective when I'm like this and I start to doubt most things I've said or done. I know it's not healthy. That I'm being too hard on myself but I can't always shake the self-punishment.

It's the kind of feeling that maybe you've burned too many bridges. That being who you are (and most times liking yourself) isn't what you maybe need to be to get what you want from life.

This isn't about anything really in particular, just some things that happened earlier that I know rationally I am making bigger than need be. See I tend to that as well when I'm in this state of mind.

I hate being like this. I hate feeling the lack of hope and I especially hate feeling not good enough, that somehow I need to change who I really am just to get along.

It's a self-pity party that I don't even want to be invited to, let alone attend.

When you are sorrowful
look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Kahlil Gibran

This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us (girls) when we were little!

Once upon a time in a land far away,
A beautiful, independent, self-assured princess
Happened upon a frog as she sat
Contemplating ecological issues
On the shores of an unpolluted pond
In a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
And said: " Elegant Lady,I was once a handsome prince,
Until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however,
And I will turn back
Into the dapper, young prince that I am
And then, my sweet, we can marry
And set up housekeeping in your castle
With my mother,
Where you can prepare my meals,
Clean my clothes, bear my children,
And forever feel
Grateful and happy doing so.
That night,
As the princess dined sumptuously
On lightly sautéed frog legs
Seasoned in a white wine
And onion cream sauce,
She chuckled and thought to herself:
I don't fucking think so.

thanks, jules....

DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving ?"

too funny...thanks kel, I needed a good laugh!

Klutz!

Look up the word in the dictionary and somewhere beside it, you should see my name.

While having a great day/early night in Cowtown I slipped and dislocated my right thumb.

Ya, klutz would be the word.

And owwwww!!!

35 years ago today my mom delivered my baby brother.

35 years ago my brother came into to the world 3 months early.

My mom told me once of the story of my brother's birth. He was only 3 lbs and could fit in the palm of my dad's hand. Do you remember the "Beanie babies" from back then ( I had a yellow one) well, he was that size. His throat had not fully developed so they couldn't give him a soother as he could end up swallowing it whole.

For a month he was in an incubator where my parents couldn't hold him. They visited everyday, I think my mom may have stayed all day, everyday. I was 20 months old but I have a vague memory of seeing him in the incubator.

The night of his birth my mom's extremely insensitive doctor told her not to get her hopes up as he would probably not live through the night. Not once did my mom believe him. She adamantly knew he would survive and be healthy. Her belief never wavered, ever.

When they were finally able to bring him home I became the doting older sister and he can confirm that for most of his life that didn't change :o). Mom would say that I was very possessive of him...he was my baby and I wanted to do everything for him.

Dad says he was named for the constellation he saw the night he was born. He also jokes that he wanted his middle name to be water...after dad's favorite drink rye and water :o)

35 years later he is proof that the doctor was wrong and my mom was right.

35 years later he's still my baby brother and I don't know how I would've made through the past 4 years and especially the last 9 weeks without him.

Thanks for proving the doctors wrong, little bro...I love you

Happy Birthday!!

" I don't know how to exist in a world where my dad doesn't "

George O'Malley, Grey's Anatomy

One of many New Years Resolutions:

In the year 2007 I resolve to: Swallow more, spit less. Get your resolution here.

borrowed from sass

Every Christmas up until my mom passed away, she gave the kids and I a Christmas decoration. I made a new tradition the Christmas after....the kids got to pick their own decoration from grama. They love this and it makes them feel closer to her.

This year I asked for another tradition...that the hub would pick out a decoration and surprise me with what he picked.

Christmas morning I unwrapped a beautiful purple angel.

It wasn't for a week that he told me the reason why.

" I bought you an angel because it reminds me of you...the angel that saved me from my life of self-destruction"

reason #458 of why I love this man.

" I believe.....no matter how badly your heart is broken,
the world doesn't stop and wait for you to grieve. "

"Keep Holding On"

You're not alone

Together we stand

I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand

When it gets cold

And it feels like the end

There's no place to go

You know I won't give in

No I won't give in

Keep holding on'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Just stay strong'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you

There's nothing you could say

Nothing you could do

There's no other way when it comes to the truth



So far away

I wish you were here

Before it's too late, this could all disappear

Before the doors close

And it comes to an end

With you by my side I will fight and defend

I'll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah

Hear me when I say, when I say I believe

Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny

Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly

Avril lavigne

So I've officially become a red-head.

I don't quite know how I feel about the change...I've been a blonde for a very long time. We'll see if it stays.

There's a mish-mash of stuff to say, most of pretty boring.

I'm not quite in the holiday mood and I wish I were. I have to be. I love Christmas too much not to be. I just don't have the motivation right now. I need Santa's elves to come in and set up my decorations for me.

Any volunteers???

Like I said there's much to say, just not the words to be found.